criticism Archives — Kyle A. Massa

This is a good start.

Let’s get one thing out of the way: Very, very few people enjoy taking criticism. It’s not fun to spend hours of your time on a piece that you really like, only to have someone point out all the things they didn’t like. In fact, sometimes it can be downright discouraging.

But let’s not get discouraged. Because any writer will tell you that the first draft is always going to stink. Which means that the feedback you receive is invaluable to your writing process. Without it, you can’t improve.

Still, there are those out there who just can’t take criticism. If you want to be one of those wonderful folks, here are five great ways to excel at taking criticism poorly.

1. Treat Every Comment Like a Personal Attack

Whenever you get negative feedback, assume that it isn’t directed at your piece—it’s directed at you. When a reader says your character acts like a dick in that one scene, don’t be fooled. The reader thinks that you are the dick.

Make sure to act appropriately mad or hurt, matching the ostensible nastiness of the comment made. This informs your readers that you’re taking everything personally, and that from here on out, you’re going to continue to do so.

Some helpful retorts to try:

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”
“Wow, tell me how you really feel.”
“Well, I think I don’t buy you as a character.”

This is a great way to ensure that you’ll receive cautious, unhelpful comments from your group members.

2. Whenever Possible, Explain Why Everyone Else is Wrong

When receiving feedback, you’ll oftentimes find that your readers just don’t understand you. They can’t comprehend your wit, your subtlety, and your mastery of the craft. So when readers tell you they don’t understand what’s going on in chapter two, kindly explain that, “It’s not me. It’s you.”

Furthermore, make sure to pontificate on every subtlety of the work, just in case people aren’t getting it. Always be sure to explain, in excruciating detail, the symbolism behind each character’s name, your inspiration for the story, the ways in which you’ve outdone all the other writers in the genre, and so forth. People will love it.

3. Assume That No One Else Knows What They’re Talking About

First thing with this method: make sure to always have a notebook. No no, don’t write anything down. Think of it more as a prop.

Leave your notebook open. Keep your pen hovering just above the page, but don’t use it. This sends a clear message to your readers: nothing they say is relevant to you, so you won’t even write it down.

Unless they compliment that metaphor you had in the first paragraph. Go ahead, write that down. Compliments are totally useful. Everything else is nonsense.

This, in general, is a great rule to live by if you want to push people away. Everybody loves a know-it-all, right?

4. When Readers Offer Feedback, Just Talk Over Them

Monologues work fabulously with this method. Feel free to use the following as a template.

“What’s the point of criticism, anyway? To quote Ringo Starr, I’m the greatest. So of course I know that all the adverbs I’m using are completely necessary. And if I’m not using two to four adjectives per noun, then I’m sure you just won’t get the picture.

“What’s that? You think the flow of the sentences is disrupted by all the adverbs and adjectives?

“I’m sorry, have you ever read Shakespeare? Well I read Hamlet in high school, and let me tell you, that guy uses lots of adverbs and lots of adjectives. And he’s the Bard. So that means I’m right. And you’re wrong.

“Anything else?”

5. Allow Every Piece of Criticism Destroy Your Confidence in Your Work

You’ve worked for so long on this piece, and now that you know everything that’s wrong with it, you know the truth. It’s not even worth saving! On to the next one, right?

Don’t spend time trying to fix it. Sure, you could probably take the advice you’ve been given and make your piece better than it was, but why do that? This thing is more tragically flawed than Prince Hamlet.

So go ahead. Throw it out. Start over. Ask for criticism not because you want to make your piece better, but because you want affirmation that it’s already the best.

Congratulations on a bad job well done. It’s not easy taking criticism this badly, but together we can do it. Bonus tip: getting visibly angry always works when these other methods fail.

Kyle A. Massa is a speculative fiction author living somewhere in upstate New York with his fiancee and their two cats. His stories have appeared in numerous online magazines, including Allegory, Chantwood, and Dark Fire Fiction.

Take a Break

Internal Critics love criticizing current projects. Nostalgia usually prevents them from lambasting older projects; anticipation does the same for future projects.

Therefore, guard your current project by making it a past project. Take a break. Let your Internal Critic forget about the mistakes of the past. The Internal Critic is usually an opportunist—it likes going after whatever’s closest. Put down your project, then come back to it.

But make sure you come back to it! Don’t let your Internal Critic talk you out of your work. When you return, you’ll probably be more objective than you were before. There will likely still be problems, yes, but you’ll also spot delightful bits you hadn’t noticed before. That sharp line of dialogue will jump off the page. That sick description will spark your imagination. It will impress even the Internal Critic. So don’t miss this opportunity!

Remind Yourself of the Next Draft

Hey, Internal Critic. There is such a thing as a second draft. In fact, the first draft is always bad. So don’t criticize it so harshly.

Reiterate this to yourself (and your Internal Critic). The first draft is bad, yes, but it’s also just the beginning. Criticizing a first draft is like criticizing a team at their first practice. Of course it’s going to be bad. Of course there will be mistakes. Expecting immediate perfection isn’t just unfair—it’s downright unrealistic!

Improvement is an iterative process. If your Internal Critic forgets that, remind it.

Listen (A Little)

It might sound odd, but sometimes it’s beneficial to take the Internal Critic’s advice—at least at the beginning. For example, imagine you’re writing a novel with multiple point of view characters. Four of them work great, but the fifth feels increasingly unnecessary to the plot. Cue the Internal Critic.

“Hey buddy. IC here. Listen, I’ve been wondering. That fifth POV character. Umm…why?”

Despite the obnoxious tone, you might try considering the Internal Critic’s critique. Treat it like you would any member of your writer’s group. If it’s helpful advice, use it. If it’s just the Critic being critical, discard it.

A Few Exercises to Try Against Your Inner Critic

When you feel your Inner Critic pushing you, push back. Evaluate all the reasons your Inner Critic is wrong.

Hey Internal Critics! Just because you aren’t the best doesn’t mean you’re not good. That would be like saying Scottie Pippen is bad at basketball because Michael Jordan’s better. Pippen’s still one of the all-time greats, even if he’s not the greatest. So, even if you aren’t as good a writer as Margaret Atwood or Kurt Vonnegut, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a good writer. And if you work hard enough, maybe someday you’ll become better than both.

If your Inner Critic constantly reminds you how hard writing is, say, “Yeah. You’re right!” Writing is hard. Writing is very hard. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. In truth, it’s a good thing. Because most of the best things in life require dedication. Easy tasks are forgettable. Difficult ones are meaningful.

Remind yourself that everyone has an Inner Critic, and that everyone’s Inner Critic is hardest on themselves.

Let’s ignore those Internal Critics as much as possible. Who needs ’em, anyway?

Kyle A. Massa is a speculative fiction author living somewhere in upstate New York with his wife and their two cats. His stories have appeared in numerous online magazines, including Allegory, Chantwood, and Dark Fire Fiction.

Tag: criticism

5 Ways to Excel at Taking Criticism Poorly